Something’s been on my heart lately, and you’ve heard me talk a little bit about it before, and that is being hushed, that way in which we either hush ourselves, or we have other people hush us, or we … there’s just many ways.
Let me just tell you a little bit about my story and why that is deep in my heart and part of the core of my message to you.
Growing up, I was the baby, four kids, mom and dad. My brothers were from my dad’s first marriage, so they came every weekend, every summer, but I always felt like I was raised with four kids.
When I came to be, I felt like I walked in the house, and I was going around going, “Wait a minute. Did anybody hear that?” Shh. “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did anybody see that?” Hush. It wasn’t just my mom that hushed. My siblings hushed also.
It’s like I came in and could see all the elephants in the room.
The whole family system was set up to not talk about it. Can you relate to that?
There was verbal abuse in my home. There was some physical abuse, but there were just things going on that nobody would talk about, and I’m like, “Whoa.” Because I was the baby, everybody was like, “Shh.”
I grew up thinking that my thoughts, and my feelings, and my voice really should not, could not, be expressed and survive in the family system.
It might not be these same exact thing, but how I, and this is a word that I often say, how I interpolated that, how I made meaning of that as this little child, as I grew up, was that my voice was not okay to share.
My voice, what I saw, I couldn’t really trust or speak about. It made things really crazy inside. I knew there were things happening. I could see it. It felt awful. It was weird. It was wrong, and “Shhh”.
I was pushed and pulled in that way. Can you relate?
Is there something in your life where you experienced it or something happened to you, and you might have been told not to share that, or people wouldn’t understand that, or in my case, another case was I was a victim of sex trafficking as a teenager, and it clearly was not my fault. Let’s just talk about that for a minute. It was clearly not my fault. Who took it on as my fault most of my entire adult life? I felt shame, and guilt, and I had to hide it, because no one would love me.
Again, that’s hushing ourselves. There’s a way to hush our voice, and our voice is what gives us our unique identity, our personality, our expressions, our love, our support.
If we aren’t able to be authentically 100% ourselves, what do we begin to think about who we are or what those events mean about us? Do we start to think we’re not enough, or not lovable, or we’re broken, we’re defective? Did someone hurt you as a child? Did someone hurt you as an adult? Did someone abuse you, neglect you, forget you?
There can be all kinds of ways. Do you now hush yourself because of that? Is there something you’ve done yourself that you’ve so ashamed of that you’re hushing yourself, and so there’s a part of your soul kept down? That’s a part of your voice. That’s a part of who you are. That’s a part of what gives you life, and freedom, and who you are evolving to be and transforming to be. I really want to talk about this issue of being hushed.
I’d like you to, this next week, pay attention, listen, listen for what’s not being said, what’s not being felt. Ask yourself these questions:
- Have I hushed myself?
- Is there anyone I think is hushing me, who’s telling me not to rock the boat, to stay the status quo, because people won’t understand it, people might be afraid themselves of conflict?
It might not even be you. It might be people close to you, people who love you, who think it’s best for you. But you’re being hushed.
I want you to pay attention, and I want you to take a look.
Find the areas where that might be true, jot them down, and come and meet me next week for what you can start to do about breaking the bonds of the hush.