I want to have a SERIOUS talk about Self Care. YES Self Care, that word you ignore, deny and feel like is overused and overrated. YES that one. SELF CARE.
I have to be transparent with you, I used to hate that word. You might think that is TOO harsh of a word. Yet it’s true. I felt like if I could get on top of my life, my kids, my work, my organization, my money, my weight — then I would do something in the category of self-care. NOT UNTIL THEN.
I think now deep inside I just felt I didn’t deserve it. It was a luxury and I couldn’t afford it. I remember counselors, teachers, friends and family would ask, “What are you doing for YOU?” I would roll my eyes and say you don’t understand. I would then rattle off all the things on my TO DO LIST and MY SCHEDULE. WOW what an eye opener several years ago when I realized:
I WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN’T UNDERSTAND.
I remember when:
- I was younger and my teenage daughter was out of control I was sure I just had to get things right with her and then the rest of the world would fall into line.
- When I gained SO much weight in ONE year that I really should have noticed and I DIDN’T. I was in such denial of how the chaos around me was WEIGHING ME DOWN.
- I thought that if I just lost weight that I would be happy, free, finally.
- I felt that if I fell in love and married someone that ALL would be right in the world. Being single at the time I thought was one of the biggest TABOO things on the planet and I WASN’T GOING TO ACCEPT MY DANCE CARD TO THAT GROUP.
WOW was I ever wrong. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
I was looking TO THE EXTERNAL world to make things all right with MY INSIDE WORLD.
I look back and say gratitude’s to all of the people who didn’t give up on me, who loved me, who stood with me when I wasn’t standing for myself. People who have come and gone out of my life. The ones who have stayed. Each and every one of them was a critical part of the journey home to me I was desperately seeking and didn’t even realize it.
Are you on your own calendar? Is Self-Care on your schedule? What is self-care to you? What counts?
I really really want to know. If someone calls and asks you to do something do you say YES to them and NO to you? Do you take YOURSELF off of the calendar?
I was talking to a participant in the last group of my program, It’s About Time, and asked this question…
(I had asked all of the people in the course to come with 5 maybe 6 areas that they felt were the TOP areas they wanted to make time for. One of them HAD TO BE SELF CARE.)
I asked her, “Why is this area important to you to make time for?” She responded “Well actually all of my 5 areas are the same. So I can make an impact in others’ lives.” She wanted to continue on with the why that was important and I said, “STOP. Where are you in that? Where does what you want get included? Is it included?” She was quiet. And then with much emotion in her voice she responded, “Well I have to prove that I have value.” OMG. My heart broke. Literally BROKE. I started crying. As I am tearing up right now just writing this.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE IN ORDER TO BE ALIVE AND HAVE VALUE AND YES BE LOVED.
You are therefore you ARE.
If you have to take care of everyone else before you take care of yourself WHAT WILL BE LEFT FOR YOU OR FOR ANYONE ELSE IN YOUR LIFE?
Self-Care is just one of the areas we are going to dig deep into in the upcoming virtual course IT’S ABOUT TIME – How To Build A Relationship With Your Schedule You Can Actually Sustain.
During the 6 weeks of the live content and coaching we will turn your relationship with time and your schedule on its head. The relief, the freedom and the choice and control you will feel will AMAZE YOU.
Join us – It’s About Time FOR YOU, isn’t it?